Our DIY Lifestyle Vacation

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Dana Schutz, SHAKING OUT THE BED, 2015

HER: One of the most frustrating consequences of the Covid-19 pandemic has been the shut down of non-essential travel. For us, that included the cancellation of lifestyle events like ‘Podcast-A-Palooza’  and ‘Naughty in ‘Nawlins’. Although resorts such as Desire and Hedonism have reopened, we felt that getting together with large numbers of strangers was just too risky. We began to ask ourselves if group activity would ever be possible before a vaccine became available.

HIM: After a lot of thought, we hit upon the idea of creating a Do-It-Yourself Lifestyle Vacation, gathering four trusted couples at a large Airbnb for a week of adult fun.

HER: This turned out to be a challenge on a number of fronts. First off, it’s not easy to find four couples who are socially and sexually compatible who are all available at the same time. After asking around, we ended up with two couples we knew well — Dominic & Maria and Dimitri & Yelena, who we had traveled to Italy with last summer — as well as Myles & Laila, friends of Dominic & Maria who we had never met before.

Testing the mattress in the master bedroom

HIM: Once we had the cast of characters determined, we got everyone together on a Zoom call. We wanted to meet the new couple, as well as discuss risk factors and social distancing practices. From that discussion we came up with a formula to ensure that our get-together would be a safe one: we all agreed to get tested the week before the trip and then isolate for a few days while we waited for results. Our goal was to create a Covid-safe sex bubble.

HER: There was a lot at stake. We learned on our Zoom call that Laila had survived cancer two years earlier, leaving her with a compromised immune system. For her sake, we all took our precautions very seriously. We would each share pictures of us going to be tested, then post screenshots of our results in a group chat.

HIM: The next step was to find a location convenient to our home city of Toronto. Due to the pandemic, many people were vacationing close to home, so there was not a lot of selection. Eventually, we found a house 90 minutes outside of the city on a vineyard in Niagara, our local wine-producing region. It had lots of privacy, a bedroom for every couple, and a basement with two pull-out sofas we could easily envision turning into a playroom.

HER: Once we had all that figured out, we decided it was important to add a little structure. The last thing you want to do is fritter away a great opportunity because of disorganization. It’s hard to get the balance between structure and spontaneity just right, but I think we nailed it. First of all, we assigned each couple a separate day when they would be responsible for preparing and serving the meals. That way, we would avoid restaurants and the risk they posed. Then, like the lifestyle resorts we all loved, we settled on four themes for our evening fun: BDSM Night, Massage Night, Salsa Night, and Movie Night. Someone also suggested socially-distanced afternoon trips into the charming town of Niagara-on-the-Lake, and private tastings at some local wineries.

Maria & Yelena, overlooking the vineyard

HIM: One of the other features that helped cinch the deal for this property was the fact that it had a hot tub. Once everyone arrived, and we had finished our Russian dinner (Dimitri & Yelena were both born there), we headed out into the cool evening air for a warm soak. Myles is a computer security expert whose first instinct was to look for exterior cameras. The last thing we wanted was to provide live-streamed porn for the owner of the house. Sure enough, he found a camera pointed at the hot tub, so he used his skills to scramble the wireless video signal. Once our privacy was assured, everyone took off their clothes. Game on!

HER: I wasn’t feeling particularly sexy after our carb-laden feast, but I eventually let my hands wander under the water to stroke the thighs and, inevitably, the cocks, of the men on either side of me.

HIM: I was seated beside Yelena, and we started chatting. Looking back on what happened next, I realize she played out a formula that has always turned me on. She started by putting a hand on my knee, and then very slowly inching her way upward, all while conversing about the most random subjects. That mixture of sexual tension below the water (is this going where I think it’s going?) and casual banter above (are we really talking about insurance regulations?) is electrifying for me. Well before her finger tips reached my cock, I was as hard as a rock.

HER: Well, if that’s all you need to get turned on, it should be simple enough to recreate.

HIM: I wish! I think the secret ingredient, the thing that has always eluded me, is that there has to be an air of genuine mystery. I had never played with Yelena before. While we get along very well, I sincerely did not know if she was even interested in sex with me. And sure enough, when I look at my very best experiences in the lifestyle, they all have that same element of surprise.

HER: You’re basically saying you want a woman to put the moves on you in an undercover way. Where’s your sense of agency in this fantasy scenario? What if she needs some cues too?

HIM: Listen, it’s not like I chose this pattern. I didn’t go to the ‘Passive Male’ section of the sexual preferences catalogue to find a cool new style. I’m just honestly looking back at several different situations and seeing a pattern I had never fully grasped before.

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Our own private sex club

HER: My favorite part of that first evening started once we went downstairs to the private sex club we had created. We had already pulled out the sofa beds and set up the space with massage tables, colored lights, toys, and our most recent lifestyle acquisition: a custom-made spanking bench. Maria climbed on the spanking bench and asked you to flog her. You clipped her into the wrist and ankle cuffs, and began by lightly spanking her upper thighs and ass. You gradually upped the intensity until you were using the heavy flogger. Once she was sufficiently warmed up, I asked if she wanted me to fuck her with our brand new extra girthy strap-on from our friends at Casual Toys. That thing is thick! It took lots of lube and some patience, but she eventually took it. Like every other time I’ve used a strap on, I loved the heady combination of power, exhibitionism, and arousal. I made her come while everyone watched.

HIM: After that, the whole group was off to the races. There was lots of fucking and sucking going on in every direction. Toward the end of the evening I ended up having sex with you (imagine that!) while Myles & Laila were doing the same on the bed beside us. At some point she started to play with my balls as I plunged into you. With that extra stimulation I pulled out and came all over your tits and tummy. Myles actually broke out into spontaneous applause when I did.

HER: The pattern was set for the rest of the week. We would have fun social times during the day, capped off with an orgy each evening.

HIM: So much sex happened that week that we would have to write a book to capture all the details. I’m curious about what stands out in your mind.

HER: There are two highlights for me. On the second night, after having sex with Dominic, we came over to watch you flogging Yelena. If you’ve read our Swingers Take Italy article, we told the story of how she approached you at the mansion orgy and asked you to use the belt on her after watching you spank me. She’s not typically into impact play, but she liked your style. As Dominic and I watch you with Yelena, I idly stroked his cock. Even though he had already come, he got hard again. I stroked more firmly, then knelt to suck him. Eventually, he warned that he was going to come. Knowing that it would turn you on, I told him to do it in my mouth.

HIM: I had been completely focused on bringing a rosy glow to Yelena’s ass, but when I heard what you said to Dominic, I had no choice but to stop and stare.

HER: The second highlight happened when I was having sex with Myles on the third night and he asked me to talk dirty to him. That’s something I usually struggle with, but his wife was beside us coaching me. It was hot because it was so far outside of my comfort zone — not only do I not talk much during sex period, but I would never think of saying the things she suggested. They are seriously perverted, in the best possible way. My pleaser nature took over and I enjoyed seeing them both respond. I liked having them guide me into their particular kink and welcome me into their fantasy world.

HIM: Yes! I was close by and was surprised to hear you. I got so hard listening to you talking dirty, that Laila put a condom on me and rode my cock until she came. That was one of my highlights. Another one happened on the afternoon of our winery tour.

HER: But you don’t even drink wine.

HIM: Well, as I’ve learned, you don’t have to be the person who actually drinks the wine to benefit from its magical properties. You basically drank everything that was handed to you, as well as most of what was handed to me. To say the least, you were pretty tipsy by the time we got back to the house.

HER: Baby, I was flat out drunk at 4:30 in the afternoon.

Posing by the rusted tractor

HIM: You asked me to take some pictures as you posed on and around the antique  tractor that was parked on the front lawn like a civic monument. Nothing new about that, except that you were pulling your skirt up around your waist in full view of any cars passing on the street. You even spread your legs for a few of the shots. That kind of unabashed exhibitionism always turns me on. Once we were in the house, you leaned over the kitchen island to talk with Maria, who was preparing the pizzas for Movie Night. My cock was still hard, so I positioned myself behind you, lifted your skirt, and pulled down your panties. I started fucking you right there, mid-conversation. I asked Maria to grab your camera and take some pictures of us. Everything was working for me, and I stayed hard effortlessly throughout. Eventually I pulled out, not wanting to come before our final orgy that night. Maria kindly offered to clean your juices off of me, getting on her knees to suck my cock while you took over capturing the occasion with your camera.

HER: That was a fun quickie. Although the sex was amazing all week, you could say that the social connections were even more amazing. We had traveled with two of the couples before, so we knew we would get along, but it was a bit risky to include people we’ve never met. There aren’t too many couples we know well who we’d want to spend that much concentrated time with, let alone strangers, but Myles & Laila were wonderful. We bonded instantly over our surprisingly similar relationship histories.

HIM: The thing that seems miraculous to me is that I’m basically a highly sociable introvert. I enjoy getting to know people, but I do not like open-ended engagements. Finish times are usually just as important as start times to me. Fortunately, you are one of the few people in the world I have an unlimited appetite for. Being trapped with three other couples for four days straight could have been tortuous for me, yet somehow it wasn’t. I appreciated having deep conversations with each individual and getting to know them better. They weren’t just fellow sex enthusiasts, but real people with kid problems and workplace frustrations and quirky hobbies. They were compassionate and intelligent human beings, and I learned a lot as they shared their experiences and opinions openly.

Dimitri working on his short game

HER: And each couple brought a unique skill or trait that made the week more fun. Maria led us in naked yoga, because she’s into that. Dominic, who is a professional dance instructor, headed up our Salsa Night. Yelena brought authentic Russian food and authentic Russian wackiness — she was the one who suggested naked mini-putt. And we all joked our way through a truly awful film called “The Swing of Things” on Movie Night (don’t waste your time!).

HIM: After having to cancel so many lifestyle plans, and imagining that group play might be a thing of the past, it was so nice to find a creative solution that worked so well — and so safely — for everyone. We definitely look forward to the day when we can return to a lifestyle resort, or host another house party, but, until then, we’re determined to find creative ways to keep having fun.

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