Other Voices

We spend a lot of time thinking about, talking about, and reading about sex.  Here are some voices we value.  Their years of research and education will lend the expertise we lack and give you some more food for thought.

Edward Fernandes, Ph.D., has studied swingers for 20 years.  He writes “The Swinging Paradigm: The evolution of consensual non-monogamy” in a way that is fair-minded and accurate (in our experience).

Women, Swinging, Sex, and Seduction

Are Swingers Freaky and Deviant?

The Swinging Paradigm (full journal article)

Dan Savage, who coined the term “Monogamish,” is a sex columnist we have long followed and borrowed from liberally.  His columns and videos are easy to find, but this comprehensive article is an excellent introduction to his life and views.

Dan Savage on the Virtues of Infidelity

Esther Perel is a psychotherapist whose bestselling book Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic explores the conflict between freedom and security in relationships.  We have watched her Ted Talks many times, and they always spark interesting conversation.

The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship

Rethinking Fidelity

Michele Weiner-Davis, the self-styled ‘Divorce Buster’ and marriage counsellor may have over-stated her ability to save every marriage, but her acknowledgement of the importance of sex in long-term relationships and her discussion of the ‘sex-starved marriage’ is valuable.

The Sex-Starved Marriage Ted Talk