The Guaranteed Erection

HIM: Earlier this year I received an intriguing note from AJ, a regular reader of our blog: “I enjoyed your most recent post, and am familiar with the performance anxiety issue. Erectile dysfunction is never a problem when alone with my wife, but can rear its head in ‘lifestyle’ encounters. Traditional oral medications are not…

Strong Feelings: My Wife Finds a Girlfriend

HER: The English language does not have an adequate word for that emotional place between ‘like’ and ‘love’. You know, that vast territory between I like my neighbor and I love my husband. Colloquially, we talk about feeling butterflies, crushing on someone, catching feels, or being ‘twitterpated‘ (thanks to Bambi). You and I dealt with the…

Antigua Diaries: More Than Just Sex

HER: Back in February, we wrote an article that started as a review of our sexual bucket lists and ended with a somewhat shocking epiphany. What I wanted most, it turned out, was a girlfriend. A walking-down-the-streets-holding-hands, can’t-stop-thinking-about-you-when-we’re-apart kind of girlfriend. I had always been turned on by depictions of passionate lesbian relationships in movies,…

Antigua Diaries: A Series of Sixsomes

HIM: I have to start by explaining a little something about myself. I’m an introvert. An unusually outgoing introvert, for sure, but an introvert all the same. Socializing exhausts me. As a result, I don’t like open-ended social engagements, even when group sex is on the menu. And I don’t travel with other people. I…

Desire Diaries: The Reunion Orgy

HER: Exactly one year, three months — and one pandemic — since our last trip to Desire, we were excited about returning for four days in June. We had been looking forward to a blissful reunion with Jay & Kay from the TCND (‘That Couple Next Door’) podcast and their friends from DC almost since…

Friends With (So Many) Benefits

HER: One of the many beautiful things about our social swinger approach to the lifestyle is that we have made ‘friends with benefits’ all over the world.  Last week, we were reminded of just how precious those friendships can be. Him and HerLiam & Kate are a married couple, very much in love, writing honestly…

No Pain, No Gain: Pushing Boundaries

HIM: Last weekend, we had our friends Kaitlyn & Colin over to our place for an overnight visit. They are a fascinating couple by any measure. For starters, they met because their spouses, Sam & Kassie, had sex with each other. Now, that’s not as shocking as it might sound, since both couples were in…

Should We Tell Our Kids We’re Swingers?

HIM: Last week, Belle and Adam of the ‘Swinging Outside the Lines‘ podcast released an amazing episode for their patrons, surely unparalleled in the short (but illustrious) history of lifestyle podcasts. They recorded a ‘live reveal’, where they informed their 17-year-old daughter of their non-monogamous relationship. It was compelling listening, but also a challenge to…

Dealing with Jealousy

HER: “We are jealous animals.” That’s how Dr Helen Fisher explained her belief that open marriages don’t work when she was interviewed on a Canadian radio documentary called ‘How to Survive the Dating Apocalypse’. She said she would never entertain the idea of an open relationship herself because she is just “too jealous.” Clearly, claiming…

Consent is Sexy

I told you what was happening, and you bolted up. “Did you ask her if you could do that?” you demanded, more angry than I’ve ever seen you. I was a little worried that you’d start a fight, and I wasn’t sure you’d win. That guy was huge!

Big. Black. Cock.

It was a great first date. He was tall, handsome and an easy conversationalist with an interesting job.

A European Swingers’ Paradise

The challenge for any club, anywhere, is to create a party vibe. Lameness and desperation are always lurking at the door.