HIM: It’s funny — we’ve had so many fascinating experiences during the ten years that we’ve been in the lifestyle, but until recently we had never had that classic threesome with a ‘unicorn’ — the elusive unattached single woman — that so many couples pursue so ardently.
HER: What are you talking about? Our earliest experiences were threesomes with my best friend Melissa, and we wrote an article about the amazing times we had with her.
HIM: Of course, you’re right. Technically, they were ‘two girls and a guy’ threesomes, and they were fantastic, but I feel they were different. For starters, we weren’t in the lifestyle per se at that point. Those experiences just really flowed out of your existing relationship with Melissa. I think the ‘unicorn’ experience is about getting together with a single female for the express purpose of having sex.
HER: Well, this is probably a good time for me to register my objection to the term ‘unicorn’. It’s hard for me not to see it as totally demeaning, boiling down someone’s identity to their role in the sexual ecosystem. Specifically, it seems like some people talk about these women like they’re exotic prey, to be tracked and captured as a kind of trophy.
HIM: I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s like the way people fetishize certain men as BBC’s, reducing them to the color of their skin and the size of their package, and tapping into a whole mythology surrounding that. While I think objectification can be an interesting dynamic to play with, it can very easily turn into good old fashioned dehumanization. Our approach has always been to connect with individuals in their complicated wholeness, and for the sexual dimension to just be part of that. And I think that was exactly what happened with Tanya.
HER: I agree with you there. She is a special person. And it’s only by chance that we met her.
HIM: You’re right. In October we had our first house party since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. We finally felt comfortable that everyone had been double vaccinated, and that we wouldn’t be written up in the local paper for hosting a super-spreader event. We had wanted to keep the numbers low, so we wouldn’t feel under too much pressure, but a few people suggested friends of theirs we might like to include. We were generally inclined to say no, but when our good friends Dominic & Maria suggested Tanya, well, we couldn’t resist.
HER: Yes, their recommendation carries a lot of weight with us. And it was clear in the picture that they sent along that Tanya was beautiful. But maybe most importantly, we had just heard that the female half of another couple we had invited would not be able to make it, so that meant we would have a single male at the party. Adding a single female just made too much sense to refuse.
Liam & Kate are a married couple, very much in love, writing honestly and insightfully about their adventures in the world of non-monogamy.