Desire Diaries: A Voyeur’s Paradise

__AA_Giulio Romano 1524 The Lovers_2

Giulio Romano, THE LOVERS, 1524

HIM: If someone asked me to list my sexual interests in order of preference, voyeurism wouldn’t be anywhere near the top. I’ve definitely had some good times watching other people have sex, but overall, I think I get more turned on by what’s going on inside my head than what others are doing around me.

HER: I would almost agree with you except that you become a total voyeur when the person having sex in front of you is me. So you must have been ecstatic during our recent trip to Desire RM in Mexico with a group led by ‘That Couple Next Door’. You got to have two different voyeuristic experiences watching me have sex with two amazing men, all on the same afternoon.

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Sex on MDMA


Ashley Bickerton, LH17, 2007

HER: Being non-monogamous is all about living life outside the lines: trying things that might seem risky or ridiculous to other people. And being on vacation at a lifestyle resort only heightens that sense of adventure. What happens on vacation stays on vacation, as they say. So when our good friend Jack asked me if I wanted to try MDMA for the first time, the answer was obvious.

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My First Double Penetration


Francois Boucher, RESTING GIRL, 1753

HER: This week we had two single-male dates in three days.

HIM: What were we thinking?

HER: This was one of those rare times where I felt compelled to fill every opening in our social schedule, and the only two single guys we have ever played with both happened to be free. The date on Tuesday (the subject of our previous article) included a first for us: you staying downstairs while I played alone with our sexy friend upstairs. Last night’s brought another new experience: my first double penetration (DP).

HIM: Well, technically that’s not true. You’ve had a cock in your pussy and another in your mouth before. Lots of times, in fact. Surely that counts.

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The Single Male Experience


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Unknown Athenian Sculptor, The Riace Bronzes (Statue B), c. 460 B.C.

HER: I was deep into post-holiday work mode when a couple of texts lit up my phone.

Happy holidays gorgeous. Hope you are keeping well and had a lovely Christmas.

Thinking of you both. All the best for the new year as well. 😚 Would love to cross paths some time.

I got messages like this every few months from Justin, a friend we met four years ago. He was the first single male we ever met online and deemed worthy of a date. He’s still the only man I’ve met through a web site that I’ve ever had sex with. We’ve been on the once-a-year plan ever since, but we had somehow missed the most recent year. And this is one guy that I did not want to let slip through the cracks! Continue reading

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Fear of Fucking



HER: If opening up your relationship is a fantasy you hope to make a reality, you might imagine that having sex with other people is all fun and easy. Just mix three or more horny people together and let the carnal geometry unfold.

HIM: If only! That certainly hasn’t been the case for me. In fact, I feel badly if we have contributed to that misperception. Because the truth is, I have had erection struggles since the very beginning of our journey, and that has shaped my entire experience of the lifestyle. Continue reading

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Confessions of an Orgasm Faker

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Nan Goldin, The Ballad of Sexual Dependency, 1979-1995

HER: The house party was in full swing. I was lying in the middle of a mattress with the third person of the evening licking my pussy, doing their damnedest to make me come. There were no hard cocks around me, and I was nearly crying in frustration. Try as I might, I just could not crest the mountain. I considered faking it to make the guy feel better and end it, as I have done so many times before, but I didn’t have the energy this time. I can’t fake it anymore.

Confession: I’m shit at climaxing. There. I said it.

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Playing Separately

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Torii Kiyonobu, EROTIC CONTEST OF FLOWERS, c. 1710

HER: I’ve listened to three podcasts in the past month where well-known lifestyle personalities have expressed their discomfort with separate room play. Each of them said they would ‘never’ have sex without their partner present. And I understand where they’re coming from. We used to feel the same way.

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Naughty in N’awlins


Thomas Couture, Les Romains de la Décadence, 1847

HER: When I was a kid, I ate an entire chocolate easter bunny in one sitting (who hasn’t?). And, of course, I got sick. I remember my mom saying something about too much of a good thing. Naughty in N’awlins was a little like that Easter bunny. Continue reading

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Swingers Take Italy

Chagall-Nude-over-Vitebsk 1933
Marc Chagall, Nude Over Vitebsk, 1933

HIM: There are two kinds of travellers. Tourists take in all the sights, but never get past the superficial. They remain outsiders. Adventurers connect with real people. They get to see things from an insider’s perspective. We always talk about how much the lifestyle has changed the way we live, and last month it happened again: the lifestyle turned a couple of Tourists into International Sex Adventurers. Continue reading

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Anal Sex

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Unknown Sculptor, Venus Callipyge (Roman copy of a Greek original), 1st Century BCE

HIM: I remember being in an online chat room many years ago when a woman I was interested in asked me what my top three fantasies were. “Anal sex, anal sex, and anal sex,” I replied.

HER: Wow, you were quite the charmer!

HIM: I know. It’s embarrassing looking back now. One of the Golden Rules of online profiles is never lead with anal sex.

HER: Making it all three of your top three fantasies is a little aggressive. So, did you get the girl?

HIM: Actually, I did. But that was obviously in spite of my adolescent enthusiasm, not because of it. And, no, we never actually had anal sex.

HER: Great story.

HIM: In my defense, though, I don’t think it was about asking for the dirtiest thing I could think of. In my mind, anal sex is all about intimacy.

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