In May 2021 we spoke at a lifestyle gathering in Miami called Podcast-A-Palooza. One hundred swinger couples from across North America gathered for three days of seminars and partying on South Beach. Unofficially, the event served as a kind of coming out party after the privations of the Covid-19 pandemic. For us, it was the beginning of two weeks of epic stories. Here’s the first one, about an unexpected hotwife experience.
HER: I first noticed Brad, a strikingly handsome man with dark hair and blue eyes, at a bar in New Orleans in 2019. We were at Naughty in N’awlins, the largest lifestyle convention in North America, and I eventually discovered that Brad was the husband of Chloe, a therapist from Chicago whose work you and I both respect. We joined them for lunch as part of a large group, and, though we spoke briefly, there wasn’t much of a connection.
HIM: Actually, there was an obvious connection between you and Brad. I could see it as clear as day. But I couldn’t seem to get more than small talk from Chloe. It frustrated me: I really felt that she should like me, that I was her kind of person.
HER: When I saw that Brad and Chloe were going to be at Podcast-A-Palooza (PCAP) in Miami — our first time seeing them since New Orleans — I started imagining the possibility of making something happen with Brad.
HIM: I guess you could say that I was hoping to make something happen with Chloe, too, but in a different kind of way. So it felt good when, on the second day of PCAP, I bumped into her near the front desk and we very quickly moved into a deep discussion about relationship styles. This was what I had imagined back in New Orleans in 2019. I remember using the word gestalt in passing at one point, and she said she got a little wet.
HIM: Don’t get too excited. I understood her comment to mean she was more intellectually turned on than sexually turned on. Which was fine with me.
HER: Not knowing about your conversation, I found myself chatting with Chloe by the pool that evening. She told me that they had recently had a change in their relationship style, and she was taking a break from swinging. I asked if that also applied to Brad, and her response told me all I needed to know: not only did he play separately, but she told me he was interested in me, and hadn’t found anyone else that weekend who could work with their dynamic. Interesting! As soon as I saw you again, I asked what you thought about me spending some time alone with Brad in our room later.
HIM: I loved that idea. A while ago, I told you my low-key hotwife fantasy of you picking up a man at a lifestyle resort and taking him back to our room, completely independent of me. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to turn that fantasy into reality.
HER: That would definitely be my kind of hotwife experience, perfectly combining the thrill of being alone with a near-stranger and the safety of having you close by. I still feel a little apprehensive about the traditional hotwife scenario of meeting a man for a date and hook up without you. But this would be like hotwifing with training wheels.
HIM: When we saw Brad standing by himself near the dancefloor, I immediately headed in the opposite direction to give you some space. I spotted Mickey & Mallory (of the ‘Casual Swinger‘ podcast) and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to catch up with them. We had a great conversation about everything from kids to business to, of course, sex. As for you, you didn’t waste any time! It wasn’t long before you texted me to say that you were on your way to our room where Brad would be joining you shortly. Twenty minutes later, however, you texted to say that he had still not arrived, and that I should feel free to come up at any point. I was worried that this wasn’t going to happen, that there might have been some kind of misunderstanding. I didn’t go up right away, since delays don’t always mean what you think they might. So after another ten minutes, I asked if you were still alone, and you wrote back simply “No.” It was on!
HER: I felt badly about the abrupt response, but he and I were just getting started, and I didn’t want to interrupt the flow. What was happening in the room and inside me was interesting for a couple of reasons. First, I might have spent a total of five minutes in the past actually talking with Brad directly. We were little more than acquaintances, and barely that. Most of the brief time we had spent together was in a group. He’s not much of a talker, and he let other people lead the discussion. I had never slept with someone with whom I had exchanged so few words. Second, I had rarely slept with someone I was so attracted to. (Have I mentioned how gorgeous he is?) So, I was a little nervous, which is rare for me in a sexual situation.
HIM: I think a little bit of nervousness is actually perfect. Too much can ruin an experience, but a little bit heightens the senses.
HER: Well, I wasn’t the only one. I sensed he was a little nervous too. When he came in, I offered him a glass — ok, a plastic cup — of wine, and we stood by the kitchen chatting. We were a safe distance from the bed as he asked me some basic get-to-know-you questions. We discovered we both love to ski, and that we have compatible sexual styles (thanks to the new vocabulary I learned at Torrid Souls‘ Unlocking your Erotic Blueprint* session earlier in the day). I explained that I was a blend of the Sensual and Kinky types, which means I love firm touch and anything a little naughty: spanking, hair pulling, choking, and generally being thrown around in bed. He said he loved all of that. He seemed to be a Shapeshifter: someone who likes a variety of play styles, depending on his mood and his partner. Having gotten on to the subject of sex, we both relaxed into the flirtation and soon started to undress each other. It was right as we moved into the bedroom that I got your text. Hence the quick and unsatisfactory reply.
HIM: That was great for you, but I didn’t know if you still wanted me to come in. I thought you might be feeling nervous and really counting on my presence to calm you, so I went upstairs and put my ear to the door to listen. I thought I could hear faint music, and maybe some pleasurable sounds, but I couldn’t be sure.
HER: You weren’t needed, but you know you are always welcome wherever I am. My earlier text was just meant to reassure you that you weren’t banished from your room, but I was happy to have Brad all to myself. In the bedroom, he started by fingering me. I’m not usually a fan of fingering, but it was immediately obvious that he had some skill in this department. He quickly made me come (I think I squirted a little), and he marveled that he had never felt the pulsation of a woman’s orgasm from the inside before. For some reason, that felt like a compliment. We moved through the standard exchange of oral, but I was anxious to have him inside me. This is where I discovered more of his skills. It was like the man had been taking notes during our Erotic Blueprint conversation! He gave me all the firm, intense touch, hair-pulling, and pressure that I crave. He molded me into a pretzel with one leg up and across my body. He rolled me half over and fucked me while holding my thigh and shoulder down (I wish I had a picture to illustrate, but my photographer wasn’t there!). When there was a pause in the action, I got face down into my ‘coming position’ and grabbed my vibrator. This part always requires a little instruction with a new partner, but once I told Brad exactly what I needed from him, he delivered perfectly. The reward, for me at least, was worth the effort. Within a minute, I had an amazing orgasm.
HIM: Meanwhile, let me remind our readers that I’m standing outside my own hotel room door, alternately listening for clues to what’s going on inside and saying ‘hello’ to various people as they pass me in the hall. Based on the faintly pleasurable moans I was hearing, I had finally begun to think that things were going well, that maybe you weren’t counting on me to burst in. Looking up at one point, I spotted Chloe on her way to join some new friends for a massage in the playroom, which was just down the hall from our suite. Knowing what was going on between our spouses on the other side of the door, she asked if I was okay. I told her I was more than okay. We fell into a lovely conversation, picking up where we had left off that afternoon.
HER: But were you actually ok? It sounds kind of sad to imagine you standing outside our door while I was having an amazing time inside with someone else.
HIM: I know it sounds pathetic, frankly, but that was not how I experienced the situation at all. I was focused on you having a great experience. It never entered my thoughts to care about how others were perceiving me. Chloe certainly didn’t see me in a negative light. We actually had an in-depth conversation about how our relationships work. It turns out she and I are both intensely verbal, and sometimes struggle with you and Brad since you aren’t as specific about your feelings as we like to be. You know: don’t just tell me you love me, tell me why you love me.
HER: So you were complaining about us?
HIM: No — the exact opposite, in fact. I don’t think either of us feel your ways of communicating are any worse than ours, just different. As our conversation wound down, she reminded me that she still wanted to get to the playroom for her massage. I think we were both feeling the strangeness of the situation, chatting comfortably while our spouses were having sex just a few feet away. I said, “Isn’t it amazing to be in this upside-down world, only to find that it feels like home?” Chloe agreed. Instinctively I hugged her, feeling our new closeness, and she asked if we could share a deep breath together. We inhaled deeply and exhaled completely, slowly and in unison. It felt so good that she asked for two more. As she turned around to walk away, she said, “Look at us, communicating without words!” When I went back to my post at the door, I thought I could hear water running. Guessing that your playtime was over, and that one of you was washing up, I finally put the key card in the lock.
HER: Good sleuthing! Yes, we were done. At the end, he had withdrawn to come on my stomach, only to discover that the condom was slipping off inside me. It was a sweet, slightly awkward moment: him trying to explain and apologize while in the middle of his orgasm. I love silly, playful moments like that, where you just can’t take yourself too seriously. And I really wasn’t too worried. We had recently been tested, I’m on the pill, and it sounded like he hadn’t had too many partners recently. You have to be prepared for stuff like this to happen in the lifestyle, so I laughed it off and encouraged him to enjoy the orgasm. He had just finished cleaning up when you came in.
HIM: Of course, I knew nothing about all that when I opened the door. All I saw was the two of you on the bed, naked together. Your first words were, “I was just going to take a picture for you.” I said I would wait in the other room while you took some shots.
HER: I took a couple of pictures, but soon Brad and I fell back into fooling around and I forgot that you were waiting for them. He choked me with one hand while he fingered me expertly with the other. He is so good at that! It was intense and intimate.
HIM: I heard you continuing to enjoy each other, and realized that picture was never going to arrive. I peeked into the mirrored closet door in the bedroom and saw that you were making out again. I didn’t want to disturb you, but, after a while, you called me in to say that the picture-taking wasn’t working out too well. I found you both relaxed and still entangled, and offered to take some pictures after making sure that Brad was comfortable with the idea.
HER: It was easy for us to go back to kissing and caressing while you shot some pictures and video.
HIM: After I had captured what I wanted, the three of us chatted for a few minutes until you said you wanted me to fuck you. Brad asked if I wanted him to stay or go, and I said that some time alone was probably best for us.
HER: I felt from looking at you that something wasn’t entirely right. You were visibly trembling, something I used to see a lot when you suffered from anxiety. As Brad got dressed, I hugged you tight.
HIM: It’s weird, I’ve had this happen a couple of times now in the lifestyle. My body is clearly in a state of high excitement, but my mind is quiet and calm. It’s like a panic attack with zero negative emotion. On his way out, I shook Brad’s hand and told him that I was really happy you and he had finally gotten together.
HER: Once he was gone, I told you that it was one of the best times I had ever had with another man. He was better than I had even hoped. His sexual style meshed perfectly with mine, and I had two great orgasms to show for it.
HIM: Finally alone, you and I had great sex. You had yet another spectacular orgasm, and so, at last, did I. I can’t help but think that the connection between you and I was enhanced by the fact that we both had desires relating to Brad & Chloe – very different desires — and we saw them come to fruition in completely unpredictable ways. We didn’t make them happen. There was no master plan. I think the best you can say about us is that we allowed them to happen.
HER: You mentioned to Chloe how amazing it is that this “upside-down world” of swinging feels like home to people like us, and I agree. It’s where I come alive, where I feel most like my true self. But within that world, our relationship is like a home-within-a-home. I feel it every time I come back to you after being with someone else. Even this spontaneous hotwifing experience was ultimately about us. Our love and trust and faith in what we have is deepened every time we connect with other people. Every time, I come back to you and feel like I’m coming home.
*To find out more about your Erotic Blueprint, take the quick quiz here
Liam & Kate are a married couple, very much in love, writing honestly and insightfully about their adventures in the world of non-monogamy.