My First Gang Bang

HIM: I was in high school the first time I heard of a gang bang. It wasn’t in porn, but in Pliny the Elder’s Natural History. In Book X, published in the year 77 AD, he tells the story of Messalina, wife of the Emperor Claudius.  She was a beautiful young noblewoman who, among her…

Miami Diaries — A Spontaneous Hotwife Experience

In May 2021 we spoke at a lifestyle gathering in Miami called Podcast-A-Palooza. One hundred swinger couples from across North America gathered for three days of seminars and partying on South Beach. Unofficially, the event served as a kind of coming out party after the privations of the Covid-19 pandemic. For us, it was the…

No Pain, No Gain: Pushing Boundaries

HIM: Last weekend, we had our friends Kaitlyn & Colin over to our place for an overnight visit. They are a fascinating couple by any measure. For starters, they met because their spouses, Sam & Kassie, had sex with each other. Now, that’s not as shocking as it might sound, since both couples were in…

Should We Tell Our Kids We’re Swingers?

HIM: Last week, Belle and Adam of the ‘Swinging Outside the Lines‘ podcast released an amazing episode for their patrons, surely unparalleled in the short (but illustrious) history of lifestyle podcasts. They recorded a ‘live reveal’, where they informed their 17-year-old daughter of their non-monogamous relationship. It was compelling listening, but also a challenge to…

My Wife Wants A Girlfriend

  HIM: We have done so many amazing things in our lifestyle adventure – threesomes, foursomes, orgies, and more. HER: And we’ve done them in fascinating places — at swinger parties, sex clubs, and lifestyle vacation resorts, here in Canada and in other countries around the world. HIM: We’ve been really lucky. I feel grateful…

Our Best Foursome Ever

HIM: This is fresh. It was just three hours ago that we said goodbye to our good friends Dominic and Maria at the downtown condo we rented for the weekend. On our way out, you said to them, “That was our best foursome ever.” But I think what you meant was, that was my best…

Just the Two of Us

HER: As people who have been non-monogamous from the beginning of our relationship, this period of enforced monogamy has been interesting. Sex between us has always been satisfying, but we’ve rarely had to work at keeping the spark alive. The lifestyle did that for us. HIM: Over the summer, since nearly everyone we knew was…

Responding to the Haters

  HER: Last year, Lisa Ling did a feature on swingers for CNN’s This Is Life, using the 2019 Naughty in N’awlins lifestyle convention as the background for her inquiry. Having been there ourselves, we were curious to tune in. In the endless quest for ratings, it must be tempting to play up the most…

The Pants On/Pants Off Transition

HIM: In almost every lifestyle situation, there is a potentially awkward moment: the transition from ‘pants on’ fun to ‘pants off’ fun. After eight years, you’d think we’d have a formula worked out, but we don’t.  We always seem to be making it up as we go along, as if every time is the first…

Shame and Vulnerability

Sex is about vulnerability. We take off our clothes — our armour — and expose the most delicate parts of ourselves to each other. When we think of our earliest ancestors, living on the African savanna, having sex involved putting their very lives at risk.