The Guaranteed Erection

HIM: Earlier this year I received an intriguing note from AJ, a regular reader of our blog: “I enjoyed your most recent post, and am familiar with the performance anxiety issue. Erectile dysfunction is never a problem when alone with my wife, but can rear its head in ‘lifestyle’ encounters. Traditional oral medications are not…

Antigua Diaries: More Than Just Sex

HER: Back in February, we wrote an article that started as a review of our sexual bucket lists and ended with a somewhat shocking epiphany. What I wanted most, it turned out, was a girlfriend. A walking-down-the-streets-holding-hands, can’t-stop-thinking-about-you-when-we’re-apart kind of girlfriend. I had always been turned on by depictions of passionate lesbian relationships in movies,…

Miami Diaries — Black N Kinky

  In May 2021 we spoke at a lifestyle gathering in Miami called Podcast-A-Palooza. One hundred swinger couples from across North America gathered for three days of seminars and partying in South Beach. Unofficially, the event served as a kind of coming-out party after the privations of the Covid-19 pandemic. For us, it was four…

Miami Diaries — The 16-Hand Erotic Massage

  In May 2021 we spoke at a lifestyle gathering in Miami called Podcast-A-Palooza. One hundred swinger couples from across North America gathered for three days of seminars and partying on South Beach. Unofficially, the event served as a kind of coming-out party after the privations of the Covid-19 pandemic. For us, it was the…

Miami Diaries — A Spontaneous Hotwife Experience

In May 2021 we spoke at a lifestyle gathering in Miami called Podcast-A-Palooza. One hundred swinger couples from across North America gathered for three days of seminars and partying on South Beach. Unofficially, the event served as a kind of coming out party after the privations of the Covid-19 pandemic. For us, it was the…

Friends With (So Many) Benefits

HER: One of the many beautiful things about our social swinger approach to the lifestyle is that we have made ‘friends with benefits’ all over the world.  Last week, we were reminded of just how precious those friendships can be. Him and HerLiam & Kate are a married couple, very much in love, writing honestly…

No Pain, No Gain: Pushing Boundaries

HIM: Last weekend, we had our friends Kaitlyn & Colin over to our place for an overnight visit. They are a fascinating couple by any measure. For starters, they met because their spouses, Sam & Kassie, had sex with each other. Now, that’s not as shocking as it might sound, since both couples were in…

Our Best Foursome Ever

HIM: This is fresh. It was just three hours ago that we said goodbye to our good friends Dominic and Maria at the downtown condo we rented for the weekend. On our way out, you said to them, “That was our best foursome ever.” But I think what you meant was, that was my best…

Just the Two of Us

HER: As people who have been non-monogamous from the beginning of our relationship, this period of enforced monogamy has been interesting. Sex between us has always been satisfying, but we’ve rarely had to work at keeping the spark alive. The lifestyle did that for us. HIM: Over the summer, since nearly everyone we knew was…

Responding to the Haters

  HER: Last year, Lisa Ling did a feature on swingers for CNN’s This Is Life, using the 2019 Naughty in N’awlins lifestyle convention as the background for her inquiry. Having been there ourselves, we were curious to tune in. In the endless quest for ratings, it must be tempting to play up the most…

The Pants On/Pants Off Transition

HIM: In almost every lifestyle situation, there is a potentially awkward moment: the transition from ‘pants on’ fun to ‘pants off’ fun. After eight years, you’d think we’d have a formula worked out, but we don’t.  We always seem to be making it up as we go along, as if every time is the first…

Our DIY Lifestyle Vacation

  HER: One of the most frustrating consequences of the Covid-19 pandemic has been the shut down of non-essential travel. For us, that included the cancellation of lifestyle events like ‘Podcast-A-Palooza’  and ‘Naughty in ‘Nawlins’. Although resorts such as Desire and Hedonism have reopened, we felt that getting together with large numbers of strangers was…