Real Talks: Boob Jobs


Unknown Artist (School of Fontainebleau) ‘Gabrielle D’Estrees and one of her Sisters’ c. 1594

HIM: A couple weeks ago, a Twitter friend put out a post seeking advice. Along with a picture of her frankly already beautiful breasts, she said that she was going for enhancement surgery and asked for suggestions regarding size. Someone we happen to admire said “whatever size you think is best, go 25cc’s bigger,” and several people echoed the sentiment. We were in shock, though we shouldn’t have been. Why is it that people always think bigger is better? Whatever happened to less is more?

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The Softest of Soft-Swaps

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George Condo ‘Reclining Nude Forms’ 2001

HER: Recently, we had what turned out to be one of the most erotic weekends ever. Were we dancing half naked at the club, hooking up with our old threesome buddies, and full swapping with some hot new friends? Nope. Not even close. Merely flirting with the idea of having sex with other people got us so hot we could barely leave the bedroom.

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The Lifestyle has a Bi(g) Problem

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Barbara Kruger ‘Untitled’ 1981

HIM: The other day, on a hunch, I conducted a little study. I did a random search for 50 couples on a swingers’ website, and counted how many people identified themselves as any kind of bisexual. Among the women, forty-three claimed to be sexually attracted to both males and females. Among the men, just two chose to identify themselves that way. In fact, many of the men went to surprising lengths in their written profiles to proclaim that they were 100% straight, as if it was a personal achievement worth bragging about. Now, all of this will surprise no one who has spent any time in the lifestyle, but it is a subject worth looking at a little more closely. Why is it that bisexuality is so broadly embraced among women, but among men…not so much? Continue reading

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Unleashing the Swinger Within

Colville couple on beach 1957

Alex Colville ‘Couple on Beach’ 1957

HER:  The question our readers ask us most frequently is how to help their partners become more sexually open. Usually, they want to interest them in swapping of some kind. More often than not, it’s men who pose the question, although I know there are lots of women who are wondering the same thing. It’s almost impossible to answer, though, because this is really the question for all time: how do you get people to do what you want them to do? Forget about sex – how do you get the boss to give you a raise? How do you get your kids to try harder at school? How do you get Donald Trump to give up on that ridiculous comb-over? Honestly – you’re not fooling anyone! Continue reading

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Slow to Respond

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Thomas Ruff ‘NUDES OBE 08’ 2001

HIM: I belong to a hilarious Facebook group called Bad Business Ideas. One of the members there recently posted this stroke of genius: “An app that lets you know six months later that that girl was totally hitting on you.” In the comments, another member suggested that the app be called Hey Dumbass. Like most humor, much of the appeal comes from striking a raw nerve. This one certainly did for me. Two stories from my past come to mind.  Continue reading

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A European Swingers’ Paradise

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Erik Fischl ‘(Beach Painting)’ 1988

HER:  It’s that time of year when people start making summer travel plans. For us, part of the consideration when booking a trip has become what kind of sexy fun we can add to the itinerary. Are there clubs, nude beaches, or parties that would make an already special destination extra-special? We love the way that Hedonism takes everything about the traditional beach vacation to a higher level by adding unlimited sex to the mix. And we love Europe, with its food, wine, galleries, museums, and medieval villages. Imagine how excited we were to find out that, in the beautiful south of France, there was a place that can only be described as a swinger’s paradise. At least, that’s how we imagined it. Continue reading

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The Darkest Fantasy

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Gustave Courbet ‘Lot and his Daughters’ 1844

HER: I’d like to start today’s article with a reading from the Bible. Please turn with me to Genesis chapter 19, as I begin to read from verse 33: “That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. The next day the older daughter said to the younger, ‘Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him’.”   Continue reading

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Finally, Our First Full-Swap

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Marcel Duchamp ‘Nude Descending a Staircase No.2’ 1912

HIM: Swapping partners wasn’t part of any master plan as we set out on our great sexual adventure. I guess the truth is that we had no particular destination in mind, and that was probably a good thing. We simply put one foot in front of the other, together, just to see where the path would take us. Who would have guessed that watching each other fuck someone else would become our obsession?  Continue reading

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A Letter from My Former Self

Man writing a letter, by Gabriël Metsu

Gabriël Metsu ‘Man writing a letter’ 1666

HIM:  Generally, we think of our job as spreading good news, but sometimes the contrast between the life we’re describing and the life people are actually living can be depressing. I understand that feeling only too well. Sex was a source of frustration and disappointment in my 20 year marriage, and any time I heard even a hint of other couples enjoying a free and creative love life, I felt a pang of jealousy. Continue reading

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Our First FMF Threesome

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Christian Schad ‘Portrait of the Count Saint-Genois d’Anneaucourt’ 1927

HER: Our sexual adventures have lead us in a lot of different directions in the more than four years we’ve been together, but before we ever considered sex clubs or hedonistic vacations, we had a few very organic threesomes with a close friend.

HIM: I know a lot of guys spend half their waking lives plotting how to bring a second woman into their sex life, but I was lucky. I didn’t have to ask for it, because you came to the relationship with a friend who was good to go. Our first FMF threesome (two females, one male) was my first threesome ever, but it wasn’t yours.

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