Miami Diaries — The RoboCock

Keith Haring, Cock Fight, 1985


In May 2021 we spoke at a lifestyle gathering in Miami called Podcast-A-Palooza (PCAP). One hundred swinger couples from across North America gathered for four days of seminars and partying in South Beach. Unofficially, the event served as a kind of coming-out party after the privations of the Covid-19 pandemic. For us, it was four days of epic stories. Here’s the last in the series about Kate’s fantastic experience having sex with a wonderful man who has a penile implant.

HIM: I think I’m being totally objective when I say I have a pretty nice cock. Anyone who’s seen, let’s say, more than 20 naked men in their life knows there is a tremendous amount of variety when it comes to the male organ. And I’m not talking about size here. I’m talking about proportion, head shape, length-to-girth ratio, vascularity, curvature and pigmentation. Comparing myself to other men (which is unavoidable, I’m afraid), I feel quite satisfied with my penis. But there are some men who I count among the elite, who inhabit a higher plane of existence, and one of those men is Jay from the Average Swingers podcast. Upon him, I bestow the highest praise I can grant another man: Jay has a very nice cock.

HER: I spend very little time thinking about comparative cock aesthetics. But then again, why would I? I’m a woman, and even the most interested woman doesn’t think as much about cocks as the least interested man. I’m far more interested in a man’s personality than his dick, but now that you mention it, I would agree that Jay has a very nice one. And what a story it has!

HIM: We first met Jay and his wife Angie in 2019. It was a small reception for content creators at Naughty in Nawlins, and everyone was wearing clothes except Jay — a situation that we would come to realize was business-as-usual for him. He circulated among the guests stark naked. He was probably a little drunk, but his sense of humor and total comfort with himself shone through. We didn’t speak much beyond a simple introduction, but he definitely made an impression.

HER: A few months later, we got to know them better at Club Euphoria’s annual Foamageddon Party in Ohio. I was dancing in the foam with Emma and Fin from the Normalizing Nonmonogamy podcast and Tiff and Rachel from the Sapphic Swingers podcast when a naked guy wearing a shark fin backpack slid through the foam on his belly. It’s that kind of fun, playful attitude that drew me to him. After slipping and grinding around on each other for a while, he confided that his cock was ‘broken:’ he couldn’t get more than 80% hard. That didn’t deter me. I ended up on a bed with him, Angie, and ‘the lesbians’ having a hell of a good time. His 80% hardness was plenty good enough, and when he got too sore to continue, you were there to be the ‘stunt cock,’ as Jay put it.

HIM: Hold on. You can’t just say a man has a ‘broken’ cock and then move on. There might be people out there who haven’t heard Jay’s outrageous story. It all started in May 2019. Ever the daredevil showman. Jay found himself onstage at an afternoon lifestyle event when he felt inspired to inject his penis with Alprostadil, the erectile dysfunction drug that provides a guaranteed erection. Over the next few hours, he enjoyed an unflagging erection, but by 10:30 that evening, he was concerned. We’ve all heard the warning on the Viagra commercial to ‘seek medical assistance for an erection lasting more than four hours’, but at this point, Jay had had one for 6 hours. It was beginning to hurt.

HER: By midnight, his wife Angie (the responsible one) decided that she needed to take her husband to the hospital. They were two hours away from home, so they packed up and left the event to go to the closest emergency ward. It was the middle of the night, however, and they had trouble getting proper attention. They figured the best approach was to drive back to their local hospital.

HIM: To cut a long story short, almost 24 hours after injecting himself, Jay had the blood siphoned from his penis. But there’s a reason why you’re supposed to see a doctor after having an erection for four hours. Jay’s cock did not go back to the way it was. He had serious nerve damage, and it hurt all the time. Eventually, he was able to get hard again, but not all the way.

HER: It was in that state that I played with him at Foamageddon.  But things got worse for poor Jay. Much worse. At another lifestyle event a few weeks later, feeling that he was able to function at least reasonably well, he was having sex with a woman who rode him enthusiastically. At one point, his penis slipped out and, instead of going back in (at least partially because it wasn’t fully hard), it slammed against her pelvic bone. Jay’s immediate thought when he heard an audible popping sound was that he had broken his penis. He was right. In addition to the earlier nerve damage, his cock now had a permanent 90 degree bend in it.

HIM: Ouch! Over the next few months, he saw several specialists, leading to the conclusion that his penis would never work properly again without having a penile implant surgically inserted. That meant removing the two side-by-side chambers that normally engorge with blood (the corpus cavernosa) and replacing them with inflatable tubes. Any time he wanted to have sex, he would have to squeeze a small balloon suspended in his scrotum that would transfer fluid from a chamber in his lower abdomen to the shaft of his penis. On one hand, it sounds terrible, but I have to admit that I am slightly jealous of his newfound ‘erection on demand’ capability. Though, of course, I’d never sign up for what he had to go through to get it.

HER: I was intrigued by it, though. When we finally saw them again at Podcast-A-Palooza, Jay was all healed up and ready to take his RoboCock on the road. I, of course, wanted to take it for a test drive. I made that clear to him when we first met up in Miami. He cautioned me that, due to the limited length of the prosthetic implant, his cock was now almost two inches shorter than it used to be. I understand how devastating that must be for a guy, but it didn’t bother me at all. I’m no size queen. I just like Jay.

penile implant
Jay & Angie hamming it up with us at PCAP

HIM: When you told me you planned on propositioning him, I was happy to let you go off alone with him. Playing solo is something we’ve become more interested in recently. What we didn’t realize at the time, however, was that Jay & Angie typically play together. Heading up to the room alone with you would be a first for him.

HER: On Sunday afternoon, I approached Jay at the pool and asked if he wanted to head upstairs. It was our last full day, and I worried the evening party would lead us into more couple adventures, so I wanted to be sure I got my time with him before the event wrapped up. Angie gave her blessing but said their room was being used by the balloon decorators, so we’d have to use ours. Before I could even finish freshening up in our room, he was at the door.

HIM: See, this is what I’m jealous of. Jay can be propositioned by a beautiful woman at random, without any warning or warm-up, and he’s ready to fuck. He just needs to pump up the RoboCock. That’s an ability most men would envy.

HER: I was fascinated by the whole process. He let me feel the pump — like a third ball in his scrotum– and even offered to let me inflate the implant. I was nervous because I had to squeeze it so hard I was sure I was going to hurt him. I couldn’t do the whole thing, but it was very cool to watch. Talk about a completely original approach to foreplay! The shaft got harder with each pump, but the tip, because of the nerve damage, stayed soft. I teased it with my tongue, testing his sensitivity as he finished the job. Once we were past the curiosity stage and actually turned on, he showed me what that RoboCock could do. He did me hard and fast, and at no point did I miss those extra two inches! I’ve been with lots of men who can’t come in a lifestyle situation because of the condoms and the nerves, but Jay had no problem. When he finished, I used my vibrator to bring myself to orgasm while he watched. It was a fun, light-hearted time with lots of easy laughs and playful intimacy. I love that.

HIM: I came in just as he was washing up. He was so at ease that he asked me if I wanted to help him deflate his cock. I followed his direction and pushed the button on the pump in his scrotum. Like you, I was nervous about hurting him, but he was totally comfortable with the process, squeezing his shaft to get the liquid back into the chamber. You’re right, everything about Jay is fun and light-hearted. He’s such an easy guy to like.

HER: That night, at the MTV Awards-themed party, Angie came up and thanked me. It was then that I learned this was Jay’s first true solo play. She said that he had been nervous beforehand, and too sheepish to volunteer many details when he saw her after. She was going to be patient and wait until they were having sex later to get him to tell her everything. I felt tremendous gratitude that she trusted me with her husband. I gave her a big hug and thanked her back.

HIM: It’s easy to imagine a man who suffered what Jay did feeling embarrassed and defeated by his situation, but he is a remarkably resilient person. Not to mention creative. He broke a really nice cock and turned it into yet another way to score with beautiful women. Unbelievable!


One Comment

  1. J says:

    You two are amazing people! Both beautiful inside and out. We’re so happy to have met you and call you our friends. Hope to give you many many more test rides!!

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