Mind the Gap: Age Differences in the Lifestyle

We’re 57 and 42, for the record. Age has always been something we have to think about a little more than the average couple. If I had been eighteen and you thirty-three when we got together, it would have been scandalous. Fifteen and thirty, and it would have been illegal!

The Hot-Button Issue of Hotwifing

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a hard-on (figuratively) for all things British. So when a very handsome man who lives close by says that he’s an actor from England, well, the next sentence practically writes itself: “Would you like to get together for a drink sometime?”

Men and Affairs

HIM: In the April 6th edition of The New York Times, I read an impressive article by Karin Jones entitled What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity. First of all, simply writing the piece under her own name (The New York Times does not allow pseudonyms) required a rare level of bravery. Being…

Dealing with Jealousy

HER: “We are jealous animals.” That’s how Dr Helen Fisher explained her belief that open marriages don’t work when she was interviewed on a Canadian radio documentary called ‘How to Survive the Dating Apocalypse’. She said she would never entertain the idea of an open relationship herself because she is just “too jealous.” Clearly, claiming…

Unleashing the Swinger Within

Like most people, I can tell when I’m being sold, and I push back instinctively. The key to my change of heart was that I never felt coerced or manipulated.

Consent is Sexy

I told you what was happening, and you bolted up. “Did you ask her if you could do that?” you demanded, more angry than I’ve ever seen you. I was a little worried that you’d start a fight, and I wasn’t sure you’d win. That guy was huge!

The Softest of Soft-Swaps

It was weird – in one sense, you could say it was a series of missteps and outright fails, yet somehow we ended up having so much sex we actually had to take two nights off after just to recover.

Swinging with Insecurities

Low self-esteem comes in many varieties, and you will get to know your own unique brand if you spend any time in the lifestyle.

A European Swingers’ Paradise

The challenge for any club, anywhere, is to create a party vibe. Lameness and desperation are always lurking at the door.

A Letter from My Former Self

If it doesn’t overwhelm you, the bittersweet ache of longing can provide the impetus to make difficult changes