Strong Feelings: My Wife Finds a Girlfriend

HER: The English language does not have an adequate word for that emotional place between ‘like’ and ‘love’. You know, that vast territory between I like my neighbor and I love my husband. Colloquially, we talk about feeling butterflies, crushing on someone, catching feels, or being ‘twitterpated‘ (thanks to Bambi). You and I dealt with the…

Antigua Diaries: A Series of Sixsomes

HIM: I have to start by explaining a little something about myself. I’m an introvert. An unusually outgoing introvert, for sure, but an introvert all the same. Socializing exhausts me. As a result, I don’t like open-ended social engagements, even when group sex is on the menu. And I don’t travel with other people. I…

Miami Diaries — The 16-Hand Erotic Massage

  In May 2021 we spoke at a lifestyle gathering in Miami called Podcast-A-Palooza. One hundred swinger couples from across North America gathered for three days of seminars and partying on South Beach. Unofficially, the event served as a kind of coming-out party after the privations of the Covid-19 pandemic. For us, it was the…

Friends With (So Many) Benefits

HER: One of the many beautiful things about our social swinger approach to the lifestyle is that we have made ‘friends with benefits’ all over the world.  Last week, we were reminded of just how precious those friendships can be. Him and HerLiam & Kate are a married couple, very much in love, writing honestly…

No Pain, No Gain: Pushing Boundaries

HIM: Last weekend, we had our friends Kaitlyn & Colin over to our place for an overnight visit. They are a fascinating couple by any measure. For starters, they met because their spouses, Sam & Kassie, had sex with each other. Now, that’s not as shocking as it might sound, since both couples were in…

Our Best Foursome Ever

HIM: This is fresh. It was just three hours ago that we said goodbye to our good friends Dominic and Maria at the downtown condo we rented for the weekend. On our way out, you said to them, “That was our best foursome ever.” But I think what you meant was, that was my best…

The Pants On/Pants Off Transition

HIM: In almost every lifestyle situation, there is a potentially awkward moment: the transition from ‘pants on’ fun to ‘pants off’ fun. After eight years, you’d think we’d have a formula worked out, but we don’t.  We always seem to be making it up as we go along, as if every time is the first…

Shame and Vulnerability

Sex is about vulnerability. We take off our clothes — our armour — and expose the most delicate parts of ourselves to each other. When we think of our earliest ancestors, living on the African savanna, having sex involved putting their very lives at risk.

Dealing with Jealousy

HER: “We are jealous animals.” That’s how Dr Helen Fisher explained her belief that open marriages don’t work when she was interviewed on a Canadian radio documentary called ‘How to Survive the Dating Apocalypse’. She said she would never entertain the idea of an open relationship herself because she is just “too jealous.” Clearly, claiming…

Hedo Diaries: Getting Ditched

One of the things I’ve enjoyed most about the lifestyle since we’ve been involved are the little moments of grace that happen without warning.