HIM: After our second Nude Pool Party we felt strongly that we were getting closer to our original vision: a gathering of cool, open-minded people in a total sexual and social ‘flow state’. In the moment. No boundaries. All that would be required to make our third ‘Nude Pool Party’ a total success would be a few tweaks.

HER: First of all, we decided to significantly reduce the guest list. While a larger group is great for a purely social gathering, we wanted to be intentional about creating a space where people would feel comfortable enough to connect sexually.  So we ruled out all the couples from our previous party who were either too much drama or who seemed reluctant to engage.  That meant not inviting some really great people in the name of creating a better group dynamic. That left us with four couples who all seemed to get along well and who were all game to play. Then we added two couples who hadn’t been at the last party but who we had met on past trips to Hedonism. That made for 14 people in total, including us. I felt confident everyone would mix well socially and sexually, and the more manageable number might feel less intimidating for everyone.

HIM: The second change was to make our play space more obvious. You were the one who figured out after the last party that most people did not know where to go to have sex if they had wanted to. While we had set up a couple of matresses on the floor in our bedroom, they couldn’t easily be seen. I don’t know if we even told anyone they were there. So this time, we positioned the matresses side-by-side in our formal living room. Because the main floor of our house has an open plan, everyone who walked through the house to the backyard would know where the play area was. We also had a fold out couch open in our small library close by for people who wanted a quieter place to play.

HER: That was important, I think. Seeing the mattresses out in the open announced the nature of the party — you couldn’t just pretend this was a polite gathering of well-behaved adults. It was a little ‘in your face’.

The third change was to expand the games portion of the evening. At the last party our ‘lock and key’ game went over very well. The men were given keys on ribbons to wear around their necks and the women were given locks. When each man found the woman whose lock his key fit into she would produce a card with questions for the two individuals to ask each other. It was a fun form of speed dating. Everyone seemed to enjoy it so we played a few rounds. We decided we would play this game again, but this time we wanted to turn up the heat a little bit. We added a new game that would be riskier — more intimate, more vulnerable — but more on that later.

HIM: On the day of the party our guests arrived gradually over the course of a few hours. As each couple arrived it didn’t take long for them to get naked and jump into the pool. We were all having fun talking and flirting when, after a while, it seemed like suddenly all the women ran to an air mattress we set up in the gazebo. Almost instantly there was a full-blown seven woman orgy! How exactly did that happen?

HER: My original idea was to offer massages on the air mattress. I thought it would be a safe way to break down barriers, to get people touching, if it wasn’t happening spontaneously. Well, I mentioned this to Janine and Tina at one point and they were immediately excited. The three of us started it, then everyone piled on. Now that I think about it, the other women might have been chilly after jumping out of the pool and may have been merely huddling for warmth. However it happened, seven of us naked women were tangled up on the air mattress and everything just played out naturally from there. I had one woman kissing me, one sucking my nipples and another one licking my clit. It was amazing. But I have to say that I was surprised that you men just sat around and watched. Some even pulled up chairs. Why didn’t you join us?

HIM: I think there were a few reasons. First of all, we were in shock — the happiest kind of shock imaginable. It was like a spontaneous dance, but without a self-conscious, performative aspect to it. Secondly, on a practical level, the air mattress was clearly at capacity. I’m sure it was built to sleep two adults, not support seven writhing women. Nothing would kill the magic like an explosion and a ten inch drop to the stone deck, don’t you think?

HER: Sure. But I don’t usually expect men to be making product performance calculations when it comes to sexual opportunity.

HIM: Well, I can only speak for myself, but I thought something special was happening in there and I didn’t want to break the spell. It really was a beautiful show. And I didn’t want to play into any old fashioned notion that it’s not real sex until a man and his cock arrive on the scene. I felt good about my decision when Christine walked past me once it was over saying excitedly, “That was a break-through for me!” I’m not exactly sure what she meant — whether she had never had a same sex experience before, or a group sex experience, or some other mystery achievement — but clearly something special had happened. So tell me, why do you think it worked so well this time?

HER: My orgy fantasy has always been about laying back and just letting anything happen, but, in real life, that can be scary. This time, partly because it was all women, There was no worry about whose hands or mouth that was because I liked and trusted each one of them. I was able to totally let go and just do whatever felt good without thinking too much. I definitely remember Kristine saying a few times ‘I’ve always wanted to do this.’ I was glad I could be a part of creating that moment for her. And when it started to wind down, that happened naturally, too.

HIM: The timing worked well for me, because while everyone was coming back to earth I ran out to pick up the sushi order we had placed earlier in the day. After everyone had their fill I announced that we would play our games. We started with the ‘lock & key’ game, which again went over very well. The questions ranged from mild (“What is the biggest compliment a person can pay you”) to medium (“What were the circumstances surrounding the loss of your virginity?”) to spicy (“Do you have a sexual fantasy that you would never want to make a reality?”). It’s the kind of game that automatically connects people if they are being honest.

Next, it was time for our new game. The first step was to find volunteer couples who weren’t shy about — how should I say this — being groped by strangers. That proved quite easy: everyone volunteered! ‘Groped by strangers, you say? Sign me up!’ This game had two rounds. In the first, all the men were blindfolded. Then their female partners, without blindfolds, stood shoulder-to-shoulder in a line, naked or at least topless. Each man was guided to stand in front of the first woman and, for a count of ten, to fondle her breasts. After doing the same thing with each of the women he would be asked to guess which one was his partner. It turned out to be harder than you might think. Two of the women had surprisingly similar larger breasts, and two had surprisingly similar smaller breasts. Although you would never mistake these women simply looking at them, their disembodied breasts were hard to distinguish using hands alone. And, sure enough, two of the men failed to identify their wives. Fortunately for me, yours were the ones that weren’t like anyone else’s and I got it right.

HER: And then, for the sake of equality, we had you men line up so the women could fondle your equipment. I knew which one was you, partly because a couple of the men were uncircumcised, and one of the others had a pretty distinct curvature. It was lots of fun, but I was surprised none of you got an erection.

HIM: I think it was one of those things that felt good sensually, but there was too much of an audience to relax into a full hard-on.

HER: Fair enough. Anyway, this game also went over very well. One of the women told me later that she loved the idea that the rules made it ‘mandatory’ to fondle so many cocks. She would never have been bold enough to do it on her own. And when the game was over, she wasn’t obliged to do anything with any of them.

HIM: I know exactly what she means. The boundaries were built right into the game — both the permission and the limits — but they wouldn’t be if you just spontaneously started feeling someone up.

HER: By this time everyone was thoroughly relaxed and people just drifted from chatting to playing to chatting to eating and back to playing again. It was what we had always envisioned. There was a small group scene on the pull-out bed in the library and a larger group gathered on the two mattresses in the living room.

HIM: I was definitely part of both of those at different times. I also had two women giving me oral in the foyer at one point.

HER: In the foyer?

HIM: Yes. We were looking at a painting we had there and somehow it just happened. In a porn video you’d say it was a predictably contrived set-up, but it actually happened fairly naturally. And, of course, I returned the favor to both women separately later on.

HER: Ever the gentleman. But while you were off doing that, another real highlight happened: a full-on guy/girl orgy broke out on the mattresses in the living room with four couples naked, touching, licking, and kissing, and there I was in the center of it all. That’s always been my fantasy. Just like with the ladies earlier, I felt completely free to explore and let my guard down. Somehow, there developed a consensus that penetration would (mainly) be between regular partners, so there were no condoms to worry about. I completely let go.  But funnily enough, I don’t remember you there.

HIM: I think I arrived late on the scene after doing some clean-up in the kitchen. When I walked into the room, Janine beckoned me onto the bed. We fooled around, and it was great, but I was happy to be a supporting player rather than forcing my way to center stage.

HER: I see you so often like that, hanging back a little rather than diving right in.

HIM: You’re right. I think the struggle for me is that I sometimes feel like there is a transcendent experience out there that I am chasing, where I lose my ego in a moment of ecstasy, but I’m not sure if the road I’m on even leads to that place, and that maybe I should just focus on the various colors and textures along the way.

HER: I know you think you just said something profound, but what I heard is, “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey” in ten times as many words.

HIM: I know. That’s so me. Why can’t I just enjoy a simple cliché like everyone else?

Him and Her

Liam & Kate are a married couple, very much in love, writing honestly and insightfully about their adventures in the world of non-monogamy.

www.themonogamishmarriage.com