HER: Within a week of setting up our online profile on a swinging website, we received an invitation to a house party in our city. This sounded like the perfect transition between the club scene that we were familiar with and the online dating scene we were just getting into. We figured we could meet and talk to several couples — which is hard to do at clubs — and still be able to stick to our ‘no sex on the first date’ rule. We could flirt with the other guests, but only play with each other, and not feel pressured to go beyond that. But you know what they say about the best laid plans …

HIM: After a bit of deliberation we sent the couple a note saying yes, we would like to come to their party. A few coordinating messages went back and forth throughout the afternoon, and it seemed like each one brought news that another couple had cancelled. By the time we left our place, we had been informed that we would be the only other people there.

HER: I wondered briefly if there ever were other couples or if this was a rouse to corner us in these strangers’ home. But I shrugged it off and figured it wasn’t too risky. What were they going to do? Rape us?

When we arrived, we could hear music and what sounded like terrifically off-key singing all the way from the curb. It was either karaoke or their cat was having a medical crisis. It took several knocks before anyone answered the door. While we waited outside, multi-colored strobe lights flashing through the front window, we both looked at each other with eyes that said ‘maybe we should just run now’. But that would be rude, especially since we were the only guests, and they were clearly ready to party.

HIM: Also, I’d say part of our approach to adventure is that, once we decide on something, we jump right in. Oh, and we’re not flakes. If we tell you we’re going to be there, we’ll show up when we said we would.

Eventually, both Kenny and Pat arrived at the door to welcome us inside. It’s a tense moment for both couples when you first lay eyes on people you’ve only known as words and pictures on a website. Maybe they won’t look as good as you expected and you’ll be trying to mask your disappointment. Or maybe they’ll be hotter than you expected and suddenly you’re feeling under pressure to impress. To be honest, I would say Kenny and Pat looked a little better online than they did in person. Those pictures were probably two to three years old, but at least they weren’t grossly out of date.

HER: I did my best to be cheerful and sociable, because it seemed like both you and Pat were a little subdued.

HIM: I think I was doing that mirroring thing. Pat was very low-energy.

HER: Well, as it turned out, I didn’t need to say too much. Kenny was very capable of filling any void. He was a shaved-bald, solidly built Vietnamese guy who was very much the ‘life of the party’ type. Pat was a quiet, petite blonde who almost seemed reluctant to be hosting this get-together. I got the impression her man was the driving force behind the evening.

After a couple glasses of wine, I loosened up and accepted the offered tequila shots. I even took a turn at karaoke.  When Kenny lit up a joint, though, I was a little turned off. To be fair, he had asked before we arrived if we were ‘420 friendly’. I had said that, while we didn’t partake ourselves, we didn’t object. But I had figured he’d take it outside. Nope. My leather jacket still smells like a Grateful Dead concert t-shirt.

HIM: It’s interesting to see how, in every lifestyle get-together, there’s this transition from the social to the sexual. Sometimes, it’s a process that happens gradually, almost imperceptibly, but this was not one of those times. I know it couldn’t have really happened this way, but I feel like Kenny was in the middle of a sentence when he walked over to Pam, pulled her top off over her head and started kissing her. I think you were in the kitchen at the time. When you came back, Kenny’s pants were down at his ankles and Pat was sucking his cock. You looked at me with your ‘when in Rome’ look and started unzipping my jeans.

HER: Yeah, I was even more surprised than you by the sudden transition. I wasn’t even close to being turned on at that point. I was just trying not to fall over after one too many tequila shots. But you know me: I’ll fake it ’til I make it. I don’t exactly need a written invitation to suck your cock, and you certainly seemed ready to go.

HIM: I have to say that I found it a turn on to see this woman who had seemed so quiet and conservative suddenly half-naked and on her knees. After you had been blowing me a while, Pat took off what was left of her clothes and joined you in giving me oral. I’m generally not one for re-enacting classic porn tableaux but, honestly, it felt great. Kenny was watching the three of us for a bit until you, in full ‘pleaser’ mode, went over to him and started to suck his cock.

HER: It was actually a very nice one – average length, smooth and thick. And I was so drunk that somehow I didn’t mind too much when he grabbed my head and started face fucking me, which is not normally my favorite gesture of affection. Pat then lay on the couch and I turned my attention to her pussy. Kenny kneeled over her face and gave her the face fucking maneuver, too, so I guessed it wasn’t just a special treat reserved solely for visitors.

At that point you knelt behind me and started fucking me, so we had a nice chain going on. Everyone was getting in on the action. After a while Pat disentangled herself and returned to you. While she was going down on you, Kenny started to put a condom on behind me. I looked up at you to gauge your reaction. We had not intended to actually ‘go all the way’ with anyone but each other that night, so we had to decide on the fly. I honestly could have gone either way, but I was too drunk to make the call. You gave Kenny a quick comment — something like ‘We’re not going there tonight’ — and he seemed to have no problem with that.

HIM: I did appreciate that there wasn’t even a hint of sulk in his body language as he immediately took the condom off. Soon you were giving him a blow job again as a kind of consolation prize. If there had been any hurt feelings, I’m sure that took care of them.

We reconfigured amiably a few more times until one point when you and I were together and our hosts just left the room. I had no idea about what might have happened between them but we just carried on. I tried fucking you in the position that usually works best for getting you to orgasm, but you were frankly too drunk to concentrate and we eventually gave up. By that point, Kenny and Pat had reappeared, no worse for their unexplained disappearance, but it was clear the sexual part of the program was over. The four of us ended up standing around in the kitchen naked, talking for another hour before we collected our clothes and said our goodbyes.

Once we were back in the car, we agreed that this weird evening, with the evaporating guest list and the disco lights and the inexplicable plot twists had been, against all odds, surprisingly gratifying. We had connected in short order with a couple who were very unlike us and gained some experience in the improvisational dance genre known as swinging.