Antigua Diaries: More Than Just Sex

lesbian relationships
Gustav Klimt, TWO WOMEN FRIENDS, 1917

HER: Back in February, we wrote an article that started as a review of our sexual bucket lists and ended with a somewhat shocking epiphany. What I wanted most, it turned out, was a girlfriend. A walking-down-the-streets-holding-hands, can’t-stop-thinking-about-you-when-we’re-apart kind of girlfriend. I had always been turned on by depictions of passionate lesbian relationships in movies, and now I realized I desired that for myself. You encouraged me to set up an online profile and begin a search, but I wanted things to happen more organically. I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for, but I knew I’d recognize it when I found it.

HIM: I was dubious about that ever happening, I have to admit, but it turned out I was wrong.  Our recent trip to Antigua for the Room 77 resort takeover was outstanding for many reasons, but one of the most memorable was connecting with April & Scott, the owners of Naughty Gym.

HER: We had met them for the first time at Podcast-A-Palooza the month before. We said pleasant hellos, but, to be honest, I felt a rare case of nerves with them. I had the sense that they were too attractive or too cool for us. That’s a feeling I used to have all the time in the vanilla world but thought I had overcome in the lifestyle.

HIM: I would say I made a slightly different mistake, one that I find embarrassing to admit to here. I saw their magnificent physiques and jumped to the conclusion that they were all about fitness in a kind of one-dimensional way. Which is crazy, because fitness is a big part of my life, and I should have seen nothing more than a shared interest that we could build a rapport over. I guess I was just afraid there was nothing more than what was obvious to the eyes. I turned out to be spectacularly wrong.

HER: It’s funny. I think what happens when  I meet certain people is that I get transported to my high school self, complete with all the insecurities and stereotypes that so define that age. With April & Scott, I thought there’s no way I’m cool enough to hang with that crowd. And I guess you just dismissed them as dumb jocks.

HIM: Sort of, but I was a jock in high school, and I hated that stereotype. At some level, I knew I was wrong about them. But that’s the great thing about lifestyle vacations: you get to experience people in multiple dimensions over the course of many days and nights. You see their body language, share a greeting or two, and even over-hear snippets of their conversations with other people. It’s hard to hold on to prejudice when you get to observe individuals up close. After a few days, I started thinking that I really wanted to get to know these people. So I checked with you and, when we spotted them sitting alone at lunch the next day, we asked if we could take the two empty chairs at their table.

lesbian relationshipsHER: That lunch was up there with some of our greatest lifestyle conversations ever. We learned that all four of us had grown up in the church — and not just casually. They, like us, had been deeply involved and had gone through a difficult process of disconnecting from the faith and community that had been integral to their lives for decades. They were on their second marriages, again like us, and had also recently been ‘outed’ to their neighbors and family, something they were still reeling from. That’s an experience I had a little taste of a few years ago — one that I’m still afraid of now. And April, like me, was very interested in women.

HIM: Scott turned out to have a strong intellectual streak, the opposite of what I was afraid of. His specialty when he worked in the church was apologetics, the branch of Christian ministry tasked with answering the skeptics. Thinking deeply about problematic subjects, like life, death, justice, and the nature of reality, was literally his full-time job for a while. I started to get the feeling that I could talk to this guy for hours. We also discovered that we had something else in common: a near fanatical interest in making our wives’ dreams come true.

HER: Later that afternoon, Scott had a conversation with our villa-mate Layla and me about April’s fantasy of an all-girl threesome. She hadn’t been able to have many encounters with women, and he knew Layla and I were both enthusiastically bisexual. We decided they would come to our villa that evening and the girls would go upstairs while the men hung out in the hot tub until summoned. And that’s exactly how it went. After a glass of bubbly on the deck, the ladies retired to the playroom and got off to a somewhat awkward start. It was funny: I think we were all so used to doing this in front of men that we didn’t quite know how to begin without an audience. But we managed, and soon there was a pile of naked, wet women with tongues and toys and scissoring and orgasms. It was so amazing, but I hardly remember any of the specifics. What does stand out is the instant intensity of my time with April. I’ve never been with a woman who was so strong and assertive. Usually, I’m the dominant one with other women, but she just threw my leg up, straddled me, and ground her clit into my pussy with abandon. Her enthusiasm was unbridled and infectious. And I could tell that it had nothing to do with performative bisexuality. She wasn’t doing this to entertain men. She was into it! I could have played with her all night, but I was aware of you guys waiting in the hot tub, so, as things wound down, I went out onto the balcony and called you up.

HIM: I was feeling a little ambivalent, I must say, because I was so invested in the women having a great time independent of the needs or desires of the men. So, as Neil and Scott easily found their way into the all-girl bubble, I hung back a bit.

lesbian relationshipsHER: What a surprise! Mr. Reticence hiding behind his moral scruples.

HIM: It would be hard to argue that one. Within a few moments, again predictably, I decided to ask Scott & April if they’d be comfortable with me shooting some video. It proved to be one of the most challenging shoots I’ve ever participated in, and for the best reason: there was just so much amazing action going on.

HER: April and Neil focused their attention on Layla, who is multi-orgasmic and seemed to just keep coming the whole time. That left Scott to me. He is strong and assertive like his wife, and I loved how he folded me into a pretzel, kept intense eye contact, and pounded me hard. He even did a little choking, which he knew from reading the blog that I liked. He owned me in a similar way to what I love about Jay from That Couple Next Door.

HIM: I’ve heard you say that before, but I’m not sure I really understand it. What do you mean by “owned”?

HER: I guess it’s a combination of being manhandled — moved and positioned and used to serve his pleasure — and feeling cared for. It’s not really about the man being rough. It’s about feeling enough trust and connection to let go completely and submit to him. It’s being dominated in a way that takes you to the edge of what feels safe, but knowing that you have full control to tap out if you feel unsafe.

HIM: I doubt any woman has ever felt “owned” by me. It’s not that I have low sexual self-esteem, it’s just that I’m coming from a completely different place. But that’s one of the many things I love about the lifestyle: you get to experience different kinds of sex with different people. You’re not completely dependent on what I bring to the table.

HER: While all this was going on, I was aware of April beside us, expertly taking care of Layla’s pussy. After Scott came inside me, there was a break in the action. As we all returned to our partners, you took over with me, bending me over the end of the bed so we could watch the action unfold. Neil started to fuck his lovely wife, Layla, and again, I couldn’t stop watching April. She rode Scott’s face until he came up gasping for air. This was no passive pillow princess! I stroked his cock while he brought her to orgasm. She got him so turned on that he came again, and she rushed to take it in her mouth. I loved everything about their perfect bodies and their enthusiasm for sex — an enthusiasm I share but rarely find matched in others.

HIM: Interesting. I didn’t see that. I shared a long, passionate kiss with April on her way out of the bedroom later not realizing her husband had just come in her mouth.

HER: I bet you loved that!

HIM: Not consciously, because I wasn’t aware of it. But it wouldn’t surprise me to find out there is some primitive sense pathway capable of detecting another man’s semen. To my mind, she was just a really good kisser. Anyway, she said that we would have to do more than kiss sometime in the future, and we eventually did. But that’s a story for another time.

HER: On the way out, April said to me that she felt almost dizzy. I got it. Something had happened that made me feel a little high as well. It was hard to put my finger on it, exactly, but there had been a spark between us, something I have never felt with another woman.

HIM: Ok, I have to stop you there. That’s really interesting. You have had sex with a lot of different women during our ten years in the lifestyle. I’m talking about attractive women with intelligence and emotional depth. In fact, a few of them basically put up their hands and said ‘Pick me!’ when we wrote the article about you wanting a girlfriend. So what was so different about April that she could captivate you so suddenly?

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HER: Well, first, she’s stunning. Like, supermodel good looks, with perfect, thick blond hair and the most sensuous lips. Like most women, she’s smooth and soft and smells nice. And I love that she’s tall and strong. There’s nothing masculine about her features, but she could easily bench-press me. I like that I can be submissive and controlled by her physically. Basically, she’s really strong and really pretty, a combination I had never experienced before. Yet there’s so much more to it than the physical. I think one of the things that makes me successful in the lifestyle is I’m pretty intuitive. I can read people and their energy quickly and easily. And I felt something with her — with the way she held my gaze while she fucked me, and the softening of her expression as she held my hair back and explored my face. It was similar to the magic connection you and I experienced on our first date all those years ago: hard to define, but hard to deny.

HIM: When we found out the next day that Scott and April were going to be at Naughty in N’awlins a couple of weeks later, I saw how your eyes lit up. We had decided not to go this year because of lingering Covid concerns, but that issue flew right out the window based on what had transpired in the past 24 hours. The first day of Naughty also happened to fall on your 45th birthday, so I decided then and there what gift to get you: more time with April.

HER: I was so excited, but the rational part of my brain kept warning me to chill the fuck out. It was crazy to imagine I had feelings for someone after a few conversations and one play session. I’m not the kind of person who develops random crushes or indulges irrational emotions. I have real affection for almost everyone I play with, so this should have been no different, right? But the deepest part of me knew something more was going on. So we kept up a fairly casual chat online after we left Antigua, and I waited for the proving ground of New Orleans just two weeks later.

To be continued…

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